The Rainbow Bridge
by Sophia Kelly for What’s On Queer BC.
A little over a year ago, my besty asked me to be his best man for his wedding to his boyfriend of 19 years. I said hell yes, of course. He asked me if I'd be willing to wear the masculine style of kilt that guys generally wear so I match the other groomsmen, with a sporran and the special socks with a knife in them. I was super excited, particularly about the socks. I told him “for you honey, I'll bind and pack if you need me to!”
I think I might have been more excited about their wedding than they were. The wedding was scheduled for October 3rd 2020, a year and a day from their betrothal ceremony, that I drove down to Seattle last year to attend.
Oh, did I mention besty lives here in BC and his intended lives in Seattle? For the last 19 years, one of them travels to spend each weekend together at one of their homes.
They booked the Scottish Cultural Centre in Vancouver where they met, paid the deposit and mailed out save the date notices. This was to be an elaborate fancy, heartfelt wedding, connected to their culture and heritage. They booked a priestess.
And then Covid hit. The Canadian government will let people who are married reunite in Canada (with quarantine and such of course), but won't let my besty's partner of 19 years into Canada so they can get married, because... they aren't married.
They have seen one another twice in person twice since the border closed, at Peace Arch Park in Surrey. By the terms of a treaty with the US in 1814, the treaty of Ghent, there can be no barriers preventing access to the park from either side of the border, and the park is intended to be a place where citizens of both countries can mingle without technically crossing the border. The Canadian side of the park has been closed, but there is a ditch that Canadians can jump to enter the park, or couples can be on either side of. Some are calling it the Rainbow Bridge. If you don't socially distance you are required to quarantine for 14 days, but that's the only barrier that is allowed by the terms of the treaty. If either side blocks access to the park, the treaty is void and the other country gets a bunch of land.
Some couples have gotten married in the Peace Arch Park itself, which works provided you have a valid marriage license in one of the two countries and can find an officiant who will do it. The Canadian partner can step over a ditch on O avenue in Surrey, and be in the US for the wedding as long as they stay within the park boundaries. Once a wedding certificate is issued, then the couples can use it to reunite.
There is a group on Facebook dedicated to advocating for Canada to broaden the family reunification conditions beyond marriage to let in their loved ones, while keeping all of the quarantine conditions in place. They have been reaching out to MP's across the political spectrum to convince them that reuniting their families can be done safely. The group held a news conference on August 12 in Ottawa, joined by MPs from multiple parties, to ask the federal government to create a plan to allow foreign national committed couples and adult children of Canadian citizens to enter Canada.
And as for my besty and me, his lesbian best man? Flights into the US from Canada are still permitted, and coming back, Canadians have to be allowed in. He and I will get tested, N95 mask and goggle up, get on a plane with other tested, masked humans and fly into Seattle. From there we will travel to the wedding venue, where a small group of masked guests will watch them get hitched. Then the three of us will travel back to Canada for quarantine and their honeymoon. Am I scared? Yes, I am. This is a lot more than just binding and packing. But my brothers are worth it.