Who am I now?
Source: Who am I now?
My name is Louise E. Lathey and I am a queer filmmaker in BC. In August 2020 I directed my first feature film, ‘Who Am I Now?’ which is set to be released July 20th, 2021.
I began writing this story in 2008 when I was first coming to terms with my sexuality. I struggled with who I was for years and I won’t say that I have it all completely figured out, but I feel that am at a point where I know who I am. I’m a storyteller with a voice, and I'm ready to share my story and use my voice to help others.
When I was growing up, and wrestling with my identity and my sexual orientation, queer representation in the media was scarce. The only gay characters on screen were used to be the butt of a joke or a quality of a villain, like a 'scary butch lesbian'. I had no gay role models, no gay friends, and no idea how to navigate the way I was feeling. I was lost and confused, and I felt isolated, different and wrong.
I’ve been writing since I was 12 years old, whether it was stories or poetry and I have loved movies for my entire life. So, it was only natural that my love of writing and my love of film intertwined. At first it was horror and thrillers, anything to escape the way I was feeling about myself, until one summer, I finally was able to use my ever-expanding imagination to turn my real life experiences into fiction.
I created Alex and Erin, two women who were going through the same struggle as I was. Falling in love with someone and feeling wrong about it. Unsure of what you were supposed to do. Not knowing who you were supposed to be, stumbling through life and figuring it out as you went along. Alex and Erin meet by chance and feelings are awoken in them that are new and scary. As they navigate these feelings, thoughts of self-hatred and self-loathing appear in Erin. The two engage in a romantic relationship, but Erin cannot come to terms with who she is, and she cannot accept herself as gay. Alex is devastated and their relationship crumbles. Erin is in denial and Alex finds comfort in her friends who support her through this challenging time. The film follows Alex and Erin's journey, through love, pain, denial and finally acceptance.
These fictional people walked me through my struggles and my feelings and my confusion, and something crazy happened - They taught me that things get better. I began painting a picture of a positive outcome for them and I started believing that it was possible for me as well. Alex and Erin were created from a place of darkness and sadness, and they became a source of hope, and that is why I needed to make this film. I know there are thousands of people who struggle with their identity everyday and I know many of them feel alone. They need to know that they aren’t alone and that who they are is okay. The thing that is not okay, is that they have limited places to see that. I want to help increase LGBTQ+ representation in the media in hopes that my story can inspire or help at least one person.
The vision I have for my company, Jack Dog Films, is to create and promote female and LGBTQ+ driven characters across all genres with a mission of educating, entertaining and representing through storytelling. Please check out Who Am I Now? On July 20th www.whoaminow.ca
