7 Tips For Nurturing LGBTQ+ Relationships
7 Essential Tips for Nurturing Strong LGBTQ+ Relationships
Strong relationships with family friends and lovers are built on a solid foundation of communication, respect, honesty, and kindness. But this foundation doesn’t stand firm on its own, it needs to be nurtured to prevent it from getting shaky.
In this guide, we’re sharing seven tips that everyone in the LGBTQ+ community can use to build stronger, lasting relationships.
1. Communicate Clearly For Trust
Clear, honest communication is non-negotiable in every relationship—LGBTQ+ or not. For those in this proud community, however, the need for openness is even more pressing.
LGBTQ+ individuals face a lot more stress than cisgender, heteronormative people in every aspect of their lives. Being the target of prejudice, no matter how subtle, has profound effects on a person’s mental health and quickly erodes trust.
Clear, honest communication won’t cure this, but it is one vital part of building a strong, loving relationship. Whether one or both of you are LGBTQ+, taking a proactive approach to communication is an excellent starting point. Create a safe space to talk where you feel supported and relaxed and can say exactly what you’re feeling without fear of judgment.
2. Be Vulnerable
Sincere communication goes hand in hand with trust, and with that goes vulnerability. Getting vulnerable is possibly one of the most intimate experiences you can have, and it is not something that comes naturally to most of us.
The expression “to earn someone’s trust” accurately describes this process, which can never be achieved through passiveness. Our first tip—clear communication—is a prerequisite for this kind of intimacy.
As we said before, LGBTQ+ individuals can find it even harder than heteronormative people to trust others, especially in the early stages of a relationship. If you’re cisgender but your partner isn’t, you need to allow them to be vulnerable without fear of judgment.
3. Get To Know Yourself
You don’t have to spend weeks trekking through Tibetan mountains to discover the “real” you, but you must be willing to explore your own character.
Strong relationships require parties to be self-aware. If you don’t know what kind of person you are, what you like and dislike, and what you value in others, you can’t show up.
Uncertainty is a familiar feeling to most in the LGBTQ+ community, which makes this issue even more important. Your loved one needs security, which can only exist if you feel secure in yourself. This can take time, but it’s a worthwhile investment!
4. Be Affirming - Empower Each Other
By now, you should have realized that these tips are interwoven LGBTQ+ individuals usually spend years being invalidated by their families, “friends,” work colleagues, and society in general, which can become crippling.
Most people find it hard to affirm themselves, even if they haven’t been stigmatized and subject to thousands of microaggressions because of who they are. One of the best things you can do for your partner is to affirm them, whether by becoming more active as an ally or acknowledging special milestones that can go unnoticed. Be their champion, and let them be yours.
5. Overcome Internalized Prejudice
Many people are unaware of internalized prejudice, let alone the harm it causes to individuals and interpersonal relationships. Becoming aware of this and learning how to deal with it is necessary if you want a loving LGBTQ+ relationship. By overcoming any internalized prejudices you can practice the greatest form of self-love, and this helps to strengthen your bonds with those you love too.
6. Show Affection
Showing affection in an LGBTQ+ relationship is often inhibited by shame - being shamed for who they are, for example, or experiencing that unmistakable “second-hand” shame.
You know the one - you came out as trans six months ago, but a family member has neglected to mention this to a close friend. When asked why, the answer is: I didn’t want you to be treated badly for being [whatever]. How this sounds to an LGBTQ+ individual: I’m ashamed of you.
Showing affection to one another is a great way of lessening this burden.
7. Practice the Positive
While there’s no doubt that there are challenges in gay dating or within the LGBTQ+ community, these challenges should be used to build stronger connections, not weaken them.
Focusing on the wins and the little things that make every day good creates a far stronger bond than one based on negativity. This positivity can extend to all areas, from simply seeing the good in situations to embracing a more body or sex-positive attitude.
All relationships need attention, and although there is no set formula for success, these tips are a good place to start!
